[ cora's not necessarily the type to brush things under the rug and leave it be, always warning those who happen to stumble into her house to watch the lump beneath the carpet, lest they trip and fall. she's the type to chase after it and grip it between tight fingers, tossing it to the curb and watching as the life within the little beast dies out. for a girl who believes she has all the answers, she certainly doesn't know how the hell to deal with this. being a normal teenage girl without a chip on her shoulder and an anger manipulated by grief is something she doesn't know. being normal — the type of definition those around her are used to, where her normal is a little furrier with more teeth — is out of her element. going to school, having friends, not having a care in the world — those are things she has never taken for granted, having never had those things to begin with. ]
[ a part of her wishes adam had never called. she may not be the type to brush things under the rug, but she'd wanted to. despite how desperately she tried to, seeing derek's younger face — the one she can't even commit to memory beyond being eleven — wears her down, and what she felt while being that eighteen year old with the entire world at her fingertips, available and free, with a family unburnt by arsonists with a grudge, is too hard to let go of. with tentacles, she's found herself stung by a jellyfish created by someone's stupid memory. no matter how hard she pushes herself, it still leaves a mark not even her healing can erase. ]
We dated in a fake universe. [ there, they got it out there. monotone and implied sigh within her voice and all. can this call end now? ] It's not a big deal.
[What had he been expecting? He doesn't know Cora well enough to say, and that's the whole problem--they don't know each other, they don't have any personal ties that Wonderland hasn't put there.
Adam regrets that... well, that he can't do something more here. Erase everything, give her back her peace of mind. He can't even honestly say he wants to be having this conversation any more than Cora, but gestures still mean something. At least to him, they do. If Sam and Dean had given him something more than empty ones, maybe he could believe they really had him on their minds. He doesn't want to be the guy who stops caring about what he's done or how he's fucked up other people.]
Okay...
[And maybe Cora's not pretending to keep up appearances, maybe she really doesn't see it as a big deal, but this is the same person who'd been shook up during the time everyone had been turned into suits of armor and been switched into different bodies because of the gazebo outside.
He wonders.]
Then it's not a big deal. But if it is, you should know I'm sorry. For being a part of Wonderland's mind games.
[ she doesn't understand why he's apologising. she doesn't understand why it's a big deal — none of it matters in the end. none of it's real, regardless of how badly someone wants it to be — and it's not the part with adam she wishes had broken free of it's alternate universe chains and settled itself comfortably in this one. ]
[ her tone takes on a scolding edge, perhaps something usual for cora hale. it sounds as though she's lying through her teeth with her responses to him. ] Don't be stupid. [ except history writes he is — incredibly so, too. but it's all wonderland's fault, erasing the part of them that would've had them questioning the legitimacy of the relationships they had formed, and even the facts of their own personal histories, rewritten as if the omniscient power of this universe had been peering inside her own head and chose to steal one of her secret wishes. ] None of us willingly signed up for any of this. [ just as she had felt no real desire to wear a dress and kiss him when everyone had been acting so weirdly unlike themselves, choosing to enact on the dumbest idea that sprouted in their mind. ]
[ that characteristic harshness of her tone disappears. his peace of mind has never been a priority, as it's always been cora above all else, cora the only one existing within the universe with its constantly changing players, but she feels compelled to, at least, ease up on him somewhat. it sounds as though she's angry with him, but it's wonderland she wants to punch in the throat. adam barely registers on her radar. ] None of it was real. So there's no need to apologise.
It still happened. I was younger, but it was still me.
[Congratulations to Cora if she's being one hundred percent upfront in this moment, because she might just be better at compartmentalizing events like this than him. He can push it to the back of his mind with everything else, but if he thinks too hard about being more than friendly with her, it starts to get weird. Like Cupid had been in the driver's seat instead of an archangel named Michael. Someone touching him, putting their arms around him, him doing the same to another girl... it's just weird.
It's not just the getting handsy with someone in Wonderland he doesn't have that kind of relationship with, it's the fact that to a point, the event had been real. He'd been that person once. A happier, unburdened Adam had existed.
It's an apology for her getting a glimpse of his past, meeting someone who's now dead and buried.]
We don't get the luxury of amnesia. But it isn't going to change things for me. I just want you to know I'm not going to see you any differently. I want us to be cool.
[Cora had been different, she'd been happier, too, but it's the people now who matter. What's not real is a relationship where a person can only accept the good, not the bad. Not the very worst of someone.]
[ cora's never been possessed — anger and grief has coiled itself around her chest and tried to squeeze the air out of her lungs — nor ever faced the possibility of possession, another violating her in a manner that would have her flesh crawling and her pushing her claws out to rip at her skin in a bid to rid herself of feeling their touch within every pore. she's been overtaken by the lack of the moon guiding her, animalistic — and monstrous, if she were to think like adam, seeing herself as a thing to be afraid of — urges overriding her attempts to control herself and steer her feet into a direction where she wouldn't be able to harm anyone. it's easier to brush something she's never had personal experience with away, hoping to forget it. ]
[ but it's easier said than done. ]
[ despite what he's told her, she still doesn't get it, and perhaps never will, the possibility of possession not quite existing within the supernatural of beacon hills. ]
We're cool. [ even if she's not, nowhere close to it. but as for the adam and cora chapter of this story, she deems it cool. there's no problems to be found, no loose ends that'll be picked up and exploited in the next. ] Don't worry. I'm not interested in you. I don't want to date you. [ in case he's worried about that ... given how wonderland has somehow always thrown her to adam when she's feeling a little wild and following stupid urges, it's probably best to get it out there again. ]
I don't usually go for people who are younger than me. [ she doesn't usually go for people, anyway. but it's said to lighten the mood, dispel anything he may be feeling that continues to weigh him down. she doesn't want to see him smile, not as she had desired to when she'd been ... not herself. she just wants him to cut the shit out and get over himself, to forgive himself for something he couldn't control. ]
[Adam resists the urge to laugh. Cora's assurances about dating bring it on and it's an unexpected burst of humor that's probably a little inappropriate, given the circumstances. No offense to Cora, but dating is the very last thing on his mind, and included in that are anyone's personal feelings toward him. He wouldn't have room to humor a crush even if it were a real thing.
Not that anyone should be crushing on Hell castoffs. Might as well stick your hand in an open flame.]
Can't imagine why you would be, but thanks. I'm not interested, either. [Amusement colors the words.] I'm older than I look. Now you might actually be way too young for me.
[ cora's beginning to wonder why wonderland insists on trying to hook them up at any possible opportunity it gets. ]
[ but she doesn't particularly care to investigate it right now. he's stopped apologising. she's intending to capitalise on it and hopefully send him on his merry way with less weight on his shoulders when it comes to her and ... them. ]
How old were you? Fourteen? [ her face pinches. him being younger than her in teenage years makes it a little ... thank god it's not reality. but it's clear she's amused, tone lighter, less gruff and abrasive. ] You look like your sixteen. [ or eighteen, but cora wants to raise his hackles. the one thing she'll take from that alternate universe is teasing him — he said it himself it was still him, so she imagines the same things she'd done back in that odd high school universe to get him to smile or even fight back apply to here. ] Baby face.
[And had he still been fifteen, he might have had the same easy humor as his teenage self, not afraid to laugh, levity closer to the surface.
The Adam of now's sense of humor is buried much deeper. He's not a kid anymore, either, not the kind Cora's joking about. Hasn't been in a long time, even before his dad's screw-ups had come back to haunt him and his family.]
That's the first time I've heard that. [At least she's able to joke, even a little.] You might want to get your eyes checked.
My eyes are fine. [ finer than his, anyway. when he finds himself in the dark, that's all he sees, but cora's able to spy the faint outlines of objects up ahead. it's not necessarily hope, nor the light at the end of the tunnel, but it's something. ]
[ it's more than what he gives himself, which is nothing. ]
[ cora's quiet for a long moment. it's as though she has to drag the words from the depths of the ocean grudgingly. ] I'm not going to see you any differently, either. [ it's not an apology for something she had no control over. the notion of saying sorry complicates things. it makes her feel as though she had some semblance of control, when she'd just been as deeply affected and out of touch with her own senses as him. cora's strong enough to try and cut herself free from being someone else's puppet. she doesn't like the insinuation that she's not. ]
[ but even though she feels as though it had been unnecessary to say, it makes her feel a slight sense of relief knowing things won't change. maybe it gives him more of a peace of mind than it's fine does. ]
[The teasing is light. Even without explaining just how much older he feels and the years he'd missed on Earth while being dead, his driver's license still says he was born in 1990.
If anyone's the baby face, it's Cora when she smiles. She looks younger.
The silence, though inscrutable, isn't too unbearably awkward. At least not anymore than it should be after what they've just gone through. He has nothing on his mind to fill it now that he's got an idea of where Cora's head is at. If she doesn't want to talk about it, that's fine with him.
When she repeats his sentiments back at him, he's grateful, if no other reason than her putting in the effort.]
[ rather than fall into the role of sensitive flower, perhaps not even believing her own attempts to reiterate what he had tried to do for her, he takes it as it is. cora doesn't know if she's convincing enough — nor does she care. with very little time — and patience — for lies, she doesn't particularly think it's best to waste adam's time leading him astray. ]
[ even though she has lead him astray many times before. omitting the truth for the sake of survival isn't the same as lying. he's asked none of the questions that would coax her into a corner, pushing her to either spill the truth or lie (the latter being a breaking of her own code of conduct). it's always been her pushing, pressing her hands firmly against his shoulders to steer him against a wall and pin him there until she's uncovered his identity as a hunter. ]
[ at least that's done and dusted. she's apparently soothed on her end, and his hackles can cease to be raised on his. ]
[ she's over it. he's over it. he's the one with the baby face, not her. she's never quite been open for jokes, always chasing after the closest hale scent, but cora can keep up a thread of banter, even if it's more in stiles' scope than her own. ]
[ for once, cora doesn't roll her eyes out of exasperation. she sounds amused. ] If you want me to prove it to you, I will. [ it sounds like a challenge, and hales never quite back down from one of those. ]
[Cora doesn't make a whole lot of sense sometimes. But that's the thing about living in reality (even a reality as weird as Wonderland's), he doesn't know Cora enough to know what she's thinking, not like a boyfriend that's been dating his girlfriend for a few months.
If she wants to prove he's a young, naive high school student, she's going to be shit out of luck.]
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[ a part of her wishes adam had never called. she may not be the type to brush things under the rug, but she'd wanted to. despite how desperately she tried to, seeing derek's younger face — the one she can't even commit to memory beyond being eleven — wears her down, and what she felt while being that eighteen year old with the entire world at her fingertips, available and free, with a family unburnt by arsonists with a grudge, is too hard to let go of. with tentacles, she's found herself stung by a jellyfish created by someone's stupid memory. no matter how hard she pushes herself, it still leaves a mark not even her healing can erase. ]
We dated in a fake universe. [ there, they got it out there. monotone and implied sigh within her voice and all. can this call end now? ] It's not a big deal.
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Adam regrets that... well, that he can't do something more here. Erase everything, give her back her peace of mind. He can't even honestly say he wants to be having this conversation any more than Cora, but gestures still mean something. At least to him, they do. If Sam and Dean had given him something more than empty ones, maybe he could believe they really had him on their minds. He doesn't want to be the guy who stops caring about what he's done or how he's fucked up other people.]
Okay...
[And maybe Cora's not pretending to keep up appearances, maybe she really doesn't see it as a big deal, but this is the same person who'd been shook up during the time everyone had been turned into suits of armor and been switched into different bodies because of the gazebo outside.
He wonders.]
Then it's not a big deal. But if it is, you should know I'm sorry. For being a part of Wonderland's mind games.
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[ her tone takes on a scolding edge, perhaps something usual for cora hale. it sounds as though she's lying through her teeth with her responses to him. ] Don't be stupid. [ except history writes he is — incredibly so, too. but it's all wonderland's fault, erasing the part of them that would've had them questioning the legitimacy of the relationships they had formed, and even the facts of their own personal histories, rewritten as if the omniscient power of this universe had been peering inside her own head and chose to steal one of her secret wishes. ] None of us willingly signed up for any of this. [ just as she had felt no real desire to wear a dress and kiss him when everyone had been acting so weirdly unlike themselves, choosing to enact on the dumbest idea that sprouted in their mind. ]
[ that characteristic harshness of her tone disappears. his peace of mind has never been a priority, as it's always been cora above all else, cora the only one existing within the universe with its constantly changing players, but she feels compelled to, at least, ease up on him somewhat. it sounds as though she's angry with him, but it's wonderland she wants to punch in the throat. adam barely registers on her radar. ] None of it was real. So there's no need to apologise.
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[Congratulations to Cora if she's being one hundred percent upfront in this moment, because she might just be better at compartmentalizing events like this than him. He can push it to the back of his mind with everything else, but if he thinks too hard about being more than friendly with her, it starts to get weird. Like Cupid had been in the driver's seat instead of an archangel named Michael. Someone touching him, putting their arms around him, him doing the same to another girl... it's just weird.
It's not just the getting handsy with someone in Wonderland he doesn't have that kind of relationship with, it's the fact that to a point, the event had been real. He'd been that person once. A happier, unburdened Adam had existed.
It's an apology for her getting a glimpse of his past, meeting someone who's now dead and buried.]
We don't get the luxury of amnesia. But it isn't going to change things for me. I just want you to know I'm not going to see you any differently. I want us to be cool.
[Cora had been different, she'd been happier, too, but it's the people now who matter. What's not real is a relationship where a person can only accept the good, not the bad. Not the very worst of someone.]
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[ but it's easier said than done. ]
[ despite what he's told her, she still doesn't get it, and perhaps never will, the possibility of possession not quite existing within the supernatural of beacon hills. ]
We're cool. [ even if she's not, nowhere close to it. but as for the adam and cora chapter of this story, she deems it cool. there's no problems to be found, no loose ends that'll be picked up and exploited in the next. ] Don't worry. I'm not interested in you. I don't want to date you. [ in case he's worried about that ... given how wonderland has somehow always thrown her to adam when she's feeling a little wild and following stupid urges, it's probably best to get it out there again. ]
I don't usually go for people who are younger than me. [ she doesn't usually go for people, anyway. but it's said to lighten the mood, dispel anything he may be feeling that continues to weigh him down. she doesn't want to see him smile, not as she had desired to when she'd been ... not herself. she just wants him to cut the shit out and get over himself, to forgive himself for something he couldn't control. ]
[ that, she gets. ]
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Not that anyone should be crushing on Hell castoffs. Might as well stick your hand in an open flame.]
Can't imagine why you would be, but thanks. I'm not interested, either. [Amusement colors the words.] I'm older than I look. Now you might actually be way too young for me.
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[ but she doesn't particularly care to investigate it right now. he's stopped apologising. she's intending to capitalise on it and hopefully send him on his merry way with less weight on his shoulders when it comes to her and ... them. ]
How old were you? Fourteen? [ her face pinches. him being younger than her in teenage years makes it a little ... thank god it's not reality. but it's clear she's amused, tone lighter, less gruff and abrasive. ] You look like your sixteen. [ or eighteen, but cora wants to raise his hackles. the one thing she'll take from that alternate universe is teasing him — he said it himself it was still him, so she imagines the same things she'd done back in that odd high school universe to get him to smile or even fight back apply to here. ] Baby face.
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[And had he still been fifteen, he might have had the same easy humor as his teenage self, not afraid to laugh, levity closer to the surface.
The Adam of now's sense of humor is buried much deeper. He's not a kid anymore, either, not the kind Cora's joking about. Hasn't been in a long time, even before his dad's screw-ups had come back to haunt him and his family.]
That's the first time I've heard that. [At least she's able to joke, even a little.] You might want to get your eyes checked.
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[ it's more than what he gives himself, which is nothing. ]
[ cora's quiet for a long moment. it's as though she has to drag the words from the depths of the ocean grudgingly. ] I'm not going to see you any differently, either. [ it's not an apology for something she had no control over. the notion of saying sorry complicates things. it makes her feel as though she had some semblance of control, when she'd just been as deeply affected and out of touch with her own senses as him. cora's strong enough to try and cut herself free from being someone else's puppet. she doesn't like the insinuation that she's not. ]
[ but even though she feels as though it had been unnecessary to say, it makes her feel a slight sense of relief knowing things won't change. maybe it gives him more of a peace of mind than it's fine does. ]
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You sure about that?
[The teasing is light. Even without explaining just how much older he feels and the years he'd missed on Earth while being dead, his driver's license still says he was born in 1990.
If anyone's the baby face, it's Cora when she smiles. She looks younger.
The silence, though inscrutable, isn't too unbearably awkward. At least not anymore than it should be after what they've just gone through. He has nothing on his mind to fill it now that he's got an idea of where Cora's head is at. If she doesn't want to talk about it, that's fine with him.
When she repeats his sentiments back at him, he's grateful, if no other reason than her putting in the effort.]
... Okay.
[It is a relief.]
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[ even though she has lead him astray many times before. omitting the truth for the sake of survival isn't the same as lying. he's asked none of the questions that would coax her into a corner, pushing her to either spill the truth or lie (the latter being a breaking of her own code of conduct). it's always been her pushing, pressing her hands firmly against his shoulders to steer him against a wall and pin him there until she's uncovered his identity as a hunter. ]
[ at least that's done and dusted. she's apparently soothed on her end, and his hackles can cease to be raised on his. ]
[ she's over it. he's over it. he's the one with the baby face, not her. she's never quite been open for jokes, always chasing after the closest hale scent, but cora can keep up a thread of banter, even if it's more in stiles' scope than her own. ]
[ for once, cora doesn't roll her eyes out of exasperation. she sounds amused. ] If you want me to prove it to you, I will. [ it sounds like a challenge, and hales never quite back down from one of those. ]
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[Cora doesn't make a whole lot of sense sometimes. But that's the thing about living in reality (even a reality as weird as Wonderland's), he doesn't know Cora enough to know what she's thinking, not like a boyfriend that's been dating his girlfriend for a few months.
If she wants to prove he's a young, naive high school student, she's going to be shit out of luck.]